WHY ARE WE Camping in bloody TENTS?

because blasted NUS TRAVEL left us out here in Middle Mongolia that's why!
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EXEC. REPORT

[picture] by William T. Wormcast
At a recent CSA meeting, the question was asked of Harry Adam, Secretary of the CSA Executive, requesting information as to the minutes and publicity for the weekly Exec Meetings.

Mr Adam replied that there had only been one Exec Meeting so far and that the minutes were not yet available. Ms Morgan Thomas moved that the Meetings should be open and well publicised and this was accepted by the CSA although Ms Jane Mackay opposed it in the spirit by saying 'Executive Meetings could well be quite boring.'

We should like to point out that the Constitution of the Students' Association, which was passed at one of the most massive GMs in many years, states that 'Executive Meetings shall be held weekly during semesters' and that 'Minutes of Exec Meetings shall be presented to each subsequent CSA Meeting'. Under Article 5(e) of the same Constitution, 'Any Member of the Exec who misses three meetings during his or her term of office without apologies being accepted shall be deemed to have resigned'.

As was clear from Mr Adam's statement at that CSA Meeting of 3rd November, none of the Members of the Exec could have attended 'three meetings' and so we call on them to resign.

When we enquired after the original minutes of the CSA Meeting of 3rd November, we were informed by the CSA Book-keeper, Ms May Donald, that Malcolm Jenkins, the CSA Administrator, was attending a funeral, but, that in any case, the original minutes were usually destroyed by Mr Jenkins.

This leads us to out rejection of the minutes as published on the grounds that they are utterly unrepresentative of the true statements of Members present at the Meeting.

Despite everything ....

NISI ILLEGITUM CARBORUNDUM

NEWS
Stop Press

KINGSLEY READ ALL ABOUT IT

Over the past few days, several trendy lefties have been contravening the Post Office Act by telephoning John Kingsley Read (erstwhile National Fronter and noe Fuhrer of the National Party) at all odd hours of the night and shouting childish abuse and revolutionary slogans at the poor man.

If you would like to call Mr Read to offer your sympathy, his number if Blackburn 50984. As you have to go via the operator to get to Blackburn from here, you might prefer to write to him at 108 Queens Road, Blackburn, Lancashire. BB1 1QG.

THE ICE MAN COMETH

The week-long cold spell led to the longest list of casualties in the history of the University. AKD was especially badly hit, counting among its injured one Owen Carroll (740301/1) who skated down the slope at the back of AKD breaking his collar bone in the process and Donald Thwaites (760421/8) who suffered consussion when his head came in contact with a tree at the foot of the slope. Several other people were rushed to Stirling Royal after sticking their heads through the ice.

BAKER BARS LATE OPENING

Arthur Baker, the University's Bar Manager, has decided not to open his bars late. They will close, with the exception of the MacBob's late night lippling for the Bridge of Allan Bourgeoisie, at 10pm sharp. The situation will, however, be reviewed in January.

Meanwhile, Alistair Tosh, popular Steward of the Allangrange, will be opening his oasis for the maximum permitted hours. 'It wouldn't be worth my while if I didn't - I'd have loads of hungry students after my neck.'

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