QUOTES FROM "BONFIRE OF THE PANTIES"
			====================================

		  transcribed by Arnoud Morsink (arnoud@best.com)

				    08-FEB-97

DM = Duckman
CF = Cornfed
HT = High school teacher
CH = Charles
MA = Mambo
A  = Ajax
B  = Bernice
I  = Irma

HT: Alright children, class dismissed. Please stop learning now!
CH: Mambo, that film got me thinking...
MA: Charles, it's another one of those 'factory irregular' films the
    district picks up cheap, 'coz the facts are wrong.
CH: Oh yeah, I knew the capital of France wasn't France Town!


MA: Let's face it - when it comes to women, dad's no Larry King...
CH: ...but he USED to be able to find SOMEone, like a woman getting even
    with a boyfriend, or a nymphomaniac with low standards...
MA: ...or that blind-obesssed Seinfeld groupie who thought he was Jason
    Alexander in a duck suit.


CF: Oh - I must say I'm surprised at how readily you boys bastardized
    your code of ethics in order to justify a morally dubious decision.
    That was very grown-up of you.


A:  Still, I would do anything for dad - even without a biscuit after each
    trick. But ehr, you know, he doesn't need to know that part...


CF: No Duckman, NOT irresistable - there's just enough to intrigue ONE
    woman, the rest is up to you. Given your proven record of mind-
    bogglingly destructive excess, we felt that giving you any more than
    that, would be like giving Michael Jackson a drum of peanut oil and
    some cub scouts. Alledgedly.


B:  Wrong! You get ALL the blame! You turned my house into an episode of
    Weird Science!


I:  Tonight, I'm not Irma. Tonight, call me "Vandalay". I wish you'd
    brought that Duck suit.