The Night Santa Went Crazy
--------------------------
alternate version by "Weird Al" Yankovic

Down in the workshop
  all the elves were makin' toys
For the good Gentile girls
  and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in,
  nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and
  cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots
  he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk 
  disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said
  with a twinkle in his eye
"Merry Christmas to all--
  now you're all gonna die!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain

Well, the workshop is gone now
  he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces
  of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers
  and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph
  into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer
  with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher
  just like Freddie Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower
  and he barbequed Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said,
  "It tastes just like chicken!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole
Without steppin' in reindeer guts

There's the National Guard and the F.B.I.
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
  and helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'
  and everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why?
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy

Yes, Virginia, now Santa Claus is dead
Some guy from the S.W.A.T. team
  blew a hole through his head
Yes, little friend now
  He has his brains on the floor
Guess you won't have the fat guy
  to kick around anymore
Well now there's no more presents
  for the children's enjoyment
And the elves gotta stand in line
  to file for unemployment
And they say Mrs. Claus
  she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights

They're talkin' bout--the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped

Wo, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Wo, something finally must have
  snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have
  snapped... in his brain