Canonical List of oxymorons
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Act natural
Advanced BASIC
Airline food
American culture
Athletic scholarship
Black Light
Brave politician
By definition, 1/0 is undefined
Business ethics
Central Intelligence (Agency)
Cheerful pessimist
Chili
Communist party (fun time!)
Corporate planning
Covert U.S. operations in Central America
Creationist Science
Definite maybe
Detroit vacation
Divorce Court
Do I strike you as a violent person?
Fallout Shelter
Freezer Burn
Good Television (Shows)
Greater Cleveland
High School Education
Honest crook
Honest politician
House Ethics Committee
I'm not going to tell you "I told you so."
Innocent women
Jumbo shrimp
Justice Burger
Justice system
Libertarian Organization
Liberty Federation
Limited Nuclear War
Logical Thought
Long-Island Expressway
May I ask a question?
Management Science
Military intelligence
Moral Majority
Never generalize!!
New Democratic Party
Non-Alcoholic Beer
Plastic Silverware
Plastic glasses?
Postal service
Practical logic
President Reagan
Progressive Conservative
Rapid transit
Resident Visitor (from consultant to a company who works on premises)
Same difference
Social Security
Student Athlete
Super Bowl (XX = Yawn)
Sweet sorrow
Terribly pleased
Union craftsman
United Nations
We are not anticipating any emergencies.
Well preserved ruins
Wise fool

I don't believe in astrology. But, then, I'm an Aquarius, and Aquarians
don't believe in astrology.

If ignorance isn't bliss, I don't know what it is.

Book Title: Suggestibility Cured Through Hypnosis

The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography

Bumper Sticker: Honk if you are against Noise Pollution

We are not anticipating any emergencies.

Don't let your willpower get the best of you.

Those who forget this sentence are condemned to reread it.

Solipsists of the world, unite!

It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

I'm not going to say "I told you so."

Jesus was born in 4 B.C.

Well-preserved ruins

Patience will come to he who waits for it.

Am I seeing things, or is that a mirage?

There are two things I dislike in a person - Absentmindedness and... I
can't' remember the other one.

You can never find a lost-and-found when you need one.

Dyslexics of the world, untie!

I may be schizophrenic, but at least I'll always have each other.

I used to be an agnostic, but now I'm not so sure.

Teacher's critique of a term paper: "This report is filled with
omissions."

Indy 500 proverb:  Ther only bad engine is a dead engine.

Procrastination means never having to say you're sorry.

Athletic scholarship

I'm so meticulous when I do crossword puzzles that I do the horizontal
words in blue and the vertical words in red.

It goes without saying that...

Manners are the noises you don't make when eating soup.

Referee's report on a scientific article:  "This paper fills a much-needed
gap in the theory."

Who can count the cost of innumeracy?

I advocate furtherance of the status quo.

Name of one of Canada's three major political parties: Progressive
Conservative

Eye abject two awl homonymns!

French has a Je ne sais quoi, which in an other language would be merely a
--  I don't know what.

Nepotism is okay as long as you keep it in the family.

Plastic silverware

You simply must stop taking advice from other people.

He speaks Esperanto like a native.

A User's Handbook of Hard-to-Remember Mnemonics

Without scapegoats, humanity is bland.  I blame the scapegoats for this.

Detroit implores:  buy American!  The Seville, the Capri, the Grenada, the
Monte Carlo...

I'm going to commit suicide or die trying.

The kindest thing I can say about my wife is that her in-laws are a lot
nicer than mine.

The doctor tells me to take somthing for my Kleptomania.

I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I did, I'd eat it, and God knows
I hate the stuff.

By definition, one divided by zero is undefined.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it left.

Sign:  HAIRCUTS WHILE YOU WAIT

Freezer burn

No coffee for me, thanks.  Coffee just gets in my mouth.

Everybody generalizes.

Each class of men is created equal.