Daffynitions


"Work" - The four letter word some people find the most offensive.

"Ashtray" - A place where people flick put their ashes when
            the room doesn't have a carpet.

The bigger the summer vacation, the harder the fall.

"Home" - is where the mortgage is.

"Car sickness" - the feeling you get when the installment is due.

"Recession" - a time to tighten your belt.

"Depression" - finding out you have no belt to tighten.

"Panic" - Realizing you have no pants to hold up, anyway!

"Home" - where half the family waits for the return of the
         other half with the car.

"Hardware Store" a homeowner's home away from home.

"Umpire" - A ballplayer after his sight fails.

"Golfer" - a person who can drive 70 mph on the freeway with
           ease, but blows a 2-foot putt if someone coughs.


Who was the first person to play tennis? In the Old Testament, Joseph
first served in Pharoah's court.

"Golf" - an activity consisting mostly of walking with regular intervals
of disappointment and bad arithmetic.

Wife    - What do you dream about at night?
Husband - Cricket.
Wife    - Don't you dream of anything else?
Husband - What? And miss my turn to bat?

You know you're getting old when you find your bra size is 32 long!