You might be a computer geek if....

If you've "checked your neck" and passed, try checking your pocket protector
to see if you are a computer geek

I had to split this page up into two seperate pages, this one (my own
geekisms) and the other one (submitted geekisms). If you can think of better
way to split 'em let's hear it.

If you even bothered to load this page

Have e-mail addresses on more than 3 servers.

For fun you think up funny domain names. (My favorite is "www.dot.com" get
it? dot-dot-dot-com, I kill me!)

....and have checked to see if they exist! (btw, www.dot.com does!!)

Have more money invested in your computer than your car.

....and don't see any thing wrong with it.

Would rather die than buy a "dummies" book.

Think people who can't set the clock on the VCR are pathetic.

Have ever tried to verbally coax an answer from your computer.

Have ever included :-) in an e-mail message.

Have thought up about 100 smiles more clever =(8^)

Have ever used a computer for more than 6 straight hours (while not at work)

Have ever used a computer past 4AM.

Own more than 6 computer books thicker than 2 inches.

Just measured books in an attempt to dodge the above.

Have ever used a computer on Friday, Saturday and Sunday of the same
weekend.

Find yourself interupting computer store salesman to correct something he
said.

Have ever helped computer store personnel with software.

The first thing you notice when walking in a business is their computer
system.

...and offer advice on how you would change it.

Have ever mounted a magnetic tape reel.

Own any shareware.

Have WRITTEN any shareware.

Have made any money on shareware you wrote.

Have ever written a dll or driver of any sort.

You know more IP addresses than phone numbers

Have ever accidently dialed an IP address

Friends use you as tech support

You log more hours with your ISP than your work

You subscribe to more than 4 comp.* newsgroups

Have ever named a computer

Have your local computer store on speed dial

Can't carry on a conversation without talking about computers

Co-workers have to email you about the fire alarm to get you out of the
building

Have ever found "stray" diskettes when doing laundry

Your computer has it's own phone line - but your teenager doesn't

You check the national weather service web page for current weather
conditions (rather than look out the window)

You know more URLs than street addresses

You have made your ISP completely rethink that "unlimited access" thing

Your pet has a web page

You get really excited when Yahoo adds your link

You have ever dismantled a floppy

.....and reassembled it

..........and it worked!

You ever told someone to hit Alt-H in response to a question

You have an opinion of Bill Gates even thought you've never met him

You think Bill Gates is the Anti-Christ

.....KNOW Bill Gates is the Anti-Christ

...........and can prove it!

You have ever sent email to someone sitting next to you (esp. if it's your
spouse!) thanks Mindy!

You consider writing a program to change your backgroud/screensaver
regularly (I'm working on it Jer!)

You think caffeine is one of the major food groups

.....and twinkies is another

You have ever had a dream involving computers

You have ever modified an ini file

You would sell your grandmother for more bandwidth (no offense granny!)

You start tilting your head sideways to smile

You get up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your email on
your way back to bed

You check your email and get "No new messages" so you check it again

You have ever made a program give you a an error message that says
"(reserved error -###) there is no message for this error"

....and were proud of the fact (Here's the gif)

You've read The Nerd Who Romanced My Computer and wondered when you worked
on this guy's PC

Scott Adams is one of your heros especially since he wrote "Men Who Use
Computers Are The New Sex Symbols Of The '90s"

You've entered that USR X2 contest so many times you get e-mail saying
"Forget it Mike you are not going to win, just go buy the modem"

... are suprised that there are other real foods besides pizza

If you have ever dozed off while at the computer

Have ever emailed yourself (in public no less!) =;^)

The tech support folks at your ISP call YOU for the tough ones

You have more than one copy of the same version of software on your machine

You have ever submitted a tip to windows95.com

You have ever chatted with someone while talking to them on the phone

.... and they live right next door (like my wife Becky, and my neighbor
Lesa)

I started to *copy* some of Zachs geekism but the list is way too long, so
just check his page.

I update this page as fast as I can think of them (or get them sent to me)
So check back for updates! Is the list getting too long? Should I try to
split them up in categories? Last updated 31 Jan 98.

I have started a Tech Support Horror Stories page

If you have comments, suggestions, or additions email me at
mdixon@micronet.net