99 things to do with a 300bps modem! (author unknown)
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1.  Put it under a door and you have a Door Stop
2.  Attach a stick and you have a Snow Plow
3.  Put it on a shelf and you have a Book End
4.  Put it on top of some papers and you have a Paper Weight
5.  Put some powder in it and it is a Bomb Shell
6.  Throw it and it is a Baseball
7.  There is no #7
8.  Put a Satellite Dish on it and you have Great TV reception
9.  Put some coils in it and you have a great portable heater
10. Put some holes and tell your friends you bought it in Holland
11. Attach balloons and it becomes a balloon holder
12. Sell it to someone as a universal adapter
13. Put a light bulb in it and you have a Decorative Walkway Light
14. Use it as a coaster for your favorite drink
15. Sell it to someone and tell him 300BPS is faster then 2400
16. Give it to your Uncle, he'll find something to do with it
17. Hook it on your TV and it is a TV adapter for your Television
18. Isn't that the age at which you can LEGALLY drink?
19. Save water by putting it in the toilet tank!
20. Use it as an anvil
21. Sell it as a Black Box.
22. It could be one of those useless props at a school play
23. Get a hammer and vent your stress out on it
24. Make a few adjustments and turn it into a radio
25. Use the parts to make a board game
26. Make a Nintendo game out of it
27. Put in a processor and sell it as the world's chunkiest computer
28. Take it out when the guests come over and it is a decoration
29. Put it on the Christmas tree and it is an Ornament!
30. Use it as a Saxophone Damper
31. Make it into a parallel port DAC
32. Use it to make a model car
33. Trade it in for a new life
34. Use it as a footrest
35. Take it to sports games and have it signed like a baseball
36. Call up PROTOVISION with it (WarGames the movie)
37. Pad it, cut it, and you have a new pair of knee-pads
38. Isn't that MTV?
39. Use it as a snow sampler
40. Attach it to the Principal's Computer and say it is a tumor
41. Cut some holes in it and use it as a Disk Store
42. Sell the parts to a techie nerd and make a lot of money
43. Use it to stop your car in an emergency
44. Drop it off a boat with a string and it is an anchor
45. Use it to scan for fish in a lake
46. Make your phone into a speaker phone
47. Take it to your next party and it will be the talk of the town
48. Sell to the Tabloids and say it is possessed by Elvis
49. Use it with your Lego's to make a computer
50. Bang it on your bald head and instantly grow hair
51. Use it as a murder weapon
52. Does there really have to be a number 52?
53. Make some adjustments and it is an EPROM programmer
54. Call the Werewolf BBS 0181 289 6003 with it!
55. Attach some strings and use it as a sled
56. Attach roll bars and it is a dune buggy
57. Use it to keep your dog in place in the yard
58. Threaten your little brother with it
59. Get a bunch of 300BPS modems and make a house out of them all
60. Make it into a `Radio Flyer' by adding wheels and a pole
61. Need a quick science project? Bring in your modem!
62. Cut a hole and use it as a planter
63. Strap it onto your head and pretend that you are Cadet Stimpy
64. Get a few lenses, some film, and make a movie camera
65. Get a plug, and send some voltage through someone's modem
66. You know how there are `pet rocks'? How about a `pet modem'?
67. Throw it out
68. Sell it to an idiot for $100 and buy yerself a faster modem
69. Put it in the snow and use it as a depth meter
70. Stick it on the wall and call it ART
71. Use it as a stepping stool
72. Put pepper in it and it could be a pepper shaker
73. Cut a hole in it and use it as a cereal bowl
74. Paint it red play bocce (yard game w/heavy balls)
75. If you have a big dog, give it to him as a chew toy
76. Cut a hole and put stuff in it
77. Put it in the attic and one day, it may be worth MONEY!
78. Make a doll's house out of it
79. A window box to put flowers in
80. Make it into a lantern
81. Give it to the neighbors
82. Use it as a subject for painting (still life)
83. Make it into a tunnel for your slot cars
84. Recycle it
85. Put it by the door and call it "Matt"
86. Throw it in the water and call it "Bob"
87. Hang it by the door and call it "Bell"
88. Use it as a booster chair
89. Throw it in the lake
90. Give it to the phone company
91. Bury it
92. Take it to Florida and sell it
93. Shape it into a Wok
94. Take it to an antique shop
95. Paint it all kinds of colors
96. Take it for a walk
97. Put it on a hat and say "Well, what did you expect?"
98. Go to the top of the World Trade Centers and THROW THE MODEM!
99. Anything that you want to!