So you thought some of the answers that you thought up in the mocks were
bad did you? Cheer up, here are some really bad answers that students have
really produced in exams...

...air cannot be compressed. In a compressed air pump....

A student was asked to design a bobbin for a voltmeter that would have a
p.d. of 990mV across it at fsd of the associated meter. He wrote... this
robin would have to absorb 990V... (So that's why they've got red
breasts?)

I would use a square piece of wood. (A piece of wood may have square
cross-section but it is a 3-dimensional object.)

The voltmeter jumped.

I estimate Youngs modulu's for wood to be about 10 Nm . (As Young's
modulus for metal is about 10 MNm, this candidate suggests that wood is
ten thousand million times easier to stretch than metal!)

From the oscilloscope the wavelength is 3 cm. (The X-axis of the
oscilloscope was displaying time as usual, and the candidate wanted to
measure the period.)

Energy was lost. (The law of conservation of energy states... energy can
be neither destroyed nor created...).

Compressing the two metals is like stretching them.

The thermometer rises very quickly.

....the kinetic energy of the trampoline....

...a gymnast weighing 350 Kg....

I would connect the DC Electrometer to a flame thrower.

..and the line shows that the stress-strain curve obeys Ohms law...

A favourite method of measuring small distances is with ....an accurate
ruler....

You can use a spring balance to measure the number of neutrons. (newtons!)

The wavelength has to be in whole wavelengths.

The numbers 44, 50 and 74 represent the time that....

The number of ions in the tank is 3.226 x 10^6 but you cannot have .226 of
an ion so the answer is 3.0 x 10^6.

As temperature drops time increases. (Presumably as temperature rises then
time decreases?)

Box B cannot contain the capacitor. Two lines later: Box B contains the
capacitor because....

The line should be straight with a very slight curve.

Monochromatic white light.

Radioactivity can be used as a fertiliser. (Steriliser!)

In a solid the room temperature will move really slow.

The expression is only valid if w is negative. (Thus turning SHM into
complex motion).

X-rays and thermionic emission are radioactive effects. (Radiation
effects).

The structure is investigated by causing X-rays to be reflected off a
piece of powered copper. (Powdered!)

This theory proposes that the momentum of, for instance, a moving truck is
equal to that of its new momentum plus that given to a truck it collides
with; after allowing for friction and energy losses due to sound, heat,
etc..

Put a short across the meter of resistance 9900 ohms. (Shunt!)

The voltage would run through the meter.

Copper consists of many atoms which are not free to move, so it is a much
easier job to direct X-rays at them.

The stop watch is used to measure the temperature of the ice-water mixture
accurately.

I estimate that the time taken to burn the candle completely would be 5
hours 27 mins 15.673 seconds - approximately

The frequency of vibration is equal to the wavelength.

The student was asked to talk about the disadvantages of a certain type of
ammeter. She wrote: You cannot put a very large current into the meter or
the cut-out switch will go.

The Lord of gravity was invented when Newton dropped an apple off the
Leaning Tower of Pisa.

The Manchester Ship Canal is very important because before it was built
ships were unloaded at Liverpool and sent by Rail to Manchester.