SCHOOLS' DOUBLE TALK

This is a collection of comments made by teachers on reports and so on
made, not by me, a teacher, but by one of my Sixth Form students.  Here
are the comments and how they may be interpreted.  The first line being
the comment and the second being the "true" meaning!

Classroom talk

I insist on absolute silence!
I prefer the sound of my own voice.

This will be a silent lesson!
I have a hangover.

You think that you can get away with this!
I know you can get away with this.

Sadly I won't be in tomorrow.
Yes, I have a break from you lot!

General Report Comments

Works well in class.
Works well when he/she is in class.

Shows great wit.
Rude and insolent.

Shows interest.
Does not show interest in school or any subject!

I wish more students had his/her attitude.
I wish more students would stay away as often!

We all hope he/she will go far.
There's a staff collection for a one-way ticket.

Needs lots of individual help.
This child is sub-human!

A leading figure in classroom discussion.
Talks all of the time.

...shows initiative in gaining resources.
...is a thief.

Needs lots of attention.
Ought to be tied up!

Has talent.
Has talent but I don't know what in!

An example to the school.
A bad example to the school.

...tries hard.
...teeps failing.

A sensitive child.
A vicious, unspeakably nasty piece of work, with psychopathic tendencies, 
likely to erupt into violence if he/she does not get their own way.  
Alternatively he/she is a wimp.

He/she prefers outdoor activities.
He/she 'bunks off' frequently.

An interesting personality.
This child is bloody dangerous!

...has made some progress.
...now turns up for lessons!

...has shown more interest in lessons.
...has stayed awake more often in class.

...seems comfortable with books.
...sleeps on books.

He/she has a keen interest in practical work in science.
He/she blew up the science laboratory.

...works hard at languages.
...still has not mastered English.

Political Science is well suited to this child.
This child is devious, shifty and not trusted.


Spelling presents no problems.
This student can't read or write.

...shows interest in books.
...defaces books.

...a flair for creative writing.
...is a liar!

...interested in literature.
...steals books from the library.

...is interested in economics.
...sells stolen books from the library.

His best achievement is in oral work.
He talks all of the time.

Her best achievement is in oral work.
She is a budding prostitute!

...imaginative use of words.
...foul-mouthed.

A surprising exam result.
We suspect that this child cheated.

In R.E. I automatically relate this child to the subject.
Oh Christ!

 
Phil Crisp
Arcade #919